Fierce Forgiveness
Let your mind travel back to the last time someone hurt your feelings. If you think about it, you were probably hurt, offended, angry, and a host of other feelings you won’t admit. I think all of those feelings are legitimate! And although we want to avoid all of those feelings, we have to realize that offenses are unavoidable. Not only will we be offended and hurt by people, but we will offend others too.
Even Jesus offended people. When Jesus was crucified, it was because he was disrupting the religious and political systems. It wasn’t just for kicks, he was threatening the system. The Roman Government wanted to prevent a Jesus-led political upheaval. And the religious leaders were trying to keep the sabbath and the religious traditions that they were used to. At one point it was written that the Pharisees (religious figures) were upset with Jesus because he wasn’t washing before he ate like the Elders – “…saw some of his disciples eating with hands that were defiled, that is, unwashed.” That may not have been the best idea in terms of cleanliness, but it was not a critical attribute for holiness. Jesus explained to them that the traditions of man make the word of God have no effect.
Jesus knew that people were more important than policy. Jesus was not so concerned with what was happening on the outside, rather what was happening on the inside. Nothing that enters a man can defile him, but whatever is within can come out and defile. Jesus was after our hearts and minds.
That which is inside of us defiling is unforgiveness. All of us have been hurt by things in life.
Friends have betrayed us or excluded us from events, sometimes on purpose.
Parents may have disappointed us by not being the kind of figures we believed we needed.
Leaders have let us down and not done the best for our congregations or country.
And we are walking around as aggrieved customers who did not get what we bargained for.
We are mad at people, angry with our situation.
Jealous of those who got what we wanted, bitter about life.
As children, we instinctively come here trusting everyone, and if we are not careful we will leave this life not trusting anyone.
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The Apostle Paul was so concerned about unforgiveness that in Ephesians 4 he writes: “let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, with all malice.” These things will poison the soul. They will kill your dreams, jeopardize your marriage, and destroy your home! That’s why Paul concludes Ephesians 4 by saying to “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as God in Christ hath forgiven you.” We have to be fierce about forgiving people.
Because offense will come, we must decide to forgive. But the only way the offense can get to our souls and do eternal damage is if we hold it. The only way a lump of hot coal can hurt me is if I hold onto it. The longer I hold on, the more damage it will cause; but if I let go, the damage will instead be minimal.
That’s why Luke records the first words of Jesus on the cross as Father forgive them, for they know not what they do. In essence, he is saying if they knew better they would do better! Jesus knew he had to forgive them quickly or else it would jeopardize his mission. While Jesus regarded people as more important than the policy, he also regarded purpose as more important than the pain from the people.
If anyone should have been offended in this case, it should have been Jesus! He came in on a colt being hailed as a King and then a week later he was arrested, spat on and whipped. He even had a crown of thorns placed on his head, denied and abandoned by his followers, and then hung on a cross between two thieves!
But he knew he had to get through this to get to that. That was the ultimate mission. He said he was going to take it and suffer now. But he knew in three days he had another mission to do. The current phase had come to a conclusion, so it was time to wrap it up, move on, and forgive! Do yourself a favor and forgive! It’s bigger than you and it’s about your mission.
Three quick tips about fierce forgiveness:
Forgive quickly, and be intentional about it. Determine that when someone offends you, you won’t hold the offense. Instead, you’ll release it. Most times we hold onto an offense thinking we need to find a way to get revenge. But truth is, God can do a much better job of that than we could ever do, so let it go.
Do not be afraid to tell people when they have offended you. Many times people won’t confront people and just harbor the malice towards them. If you confront someone, tell them what they did and then decide you will let it go after you bring it up.
Forgiveness is a process. Ultimately it will take time to move beyond the hurt and disappointment, but make up your mind that forgiveness is your goal. Soon, you will be at peace with yourself and others.